Popping The Right Question

Recently I read on article written by Gary Thomas, How Would Jesus Date? Instead of constantly probing a friendship for traces of romance, Thomas suggests singles ask themselves how Jesus treated his friends. Below is an excerpt, I encourage you to read the full article on the Boundless Webzine: 

A writer from the previous century, R. Somerset Ward, suggests in his book To Jerusalem that such "unselfishness is only possible by means of discipline, of warfare with selfish desires. The highest bond of friendship is forged in the fire of discipline, and it is true to experience to say that the greater the cost of the forging, the greater will be the friendship."

Most people think the highest bond of friendship is the fire of emotion and affection. What makes someone a friend in the modern mind is that we like him or feel fondly toward him. Ward suggests, and Jesus models, that the highest bond of friendship is personal discipline — the higher the cost and sacrifice, the truer the friendship. Love is doing what’s best for someone, even if what’s best is confusing or resented. To get to this place, we have to "declare spiritual war" against our selfishness. 

Romance is built on dramatic displays of lavish affection, but such displays can be evidence of an undisciplined heart. Sometimes the most loving thing to do is to limit your displays (or expressions) of affection by submitting to God’s greater good for this person. Ward puts it this way: "A voluntary limitation of demonstration [and] a consideration of their highest good are marks of a great love."